REFLECTIONS

As she gazes out the window her eyes rest upon the golf course that borders her home. Although the scene is soothing and peaceful, she sees it with only sadness, for the turmoil within her takes the joy out of her surroundings.

Lord, she thinks, this spell of temperatures over 100 degrees and high humidity is just draining everybody. The worst of Arizona weather, she thinks. Only the end of July with probably 2 or 3 weeks more to go of this. Oh well, at least no monsoons so far. They go along with the current weather conditions and can cause severe dust storms. They can seem to blow up in a matter of minutes and leave such a mess. Why, she wonders, would anyone want to live in the dessert? Instead of being sad, she should be happy to be leaving. However, she knows that the weather has nothing to do with her sadness and turmoil.

As she pours another cup of coffee she daydreams about how wonderful it will be to see her kids again. And her grandchildren. Having divorced her first husband many years ago, she had made the kids her whole life. Then as the grandchildren came along, they brought so much joy.

Empty nest syndrom, she ponders, not for the first time. How big a part did that play in getting married the second time? Was it the loneliness of having the kids and grandkids becoming less involved with her and busier with their own lives? Is that what drove her toward this second marriage after having been divorced for 23 years? She can't fool herself any longer. She knows there were warning signs that any sane and rational person would have seen. What's wrong with me, she wonders. Where was my logic? What was I thinking? Look at all I've given up and the time I have missed with my family. She'd been a fool and now, at last, she has to face it. As tears stream down her face, she wonders what she will do now.

Reflecting over the choices she has made over the last 4 years, it appears she saved some of her biggest mistakes in life for last. But, with a sad smile, she realizes there has never been a shortage of bad choices in her life. Somewhat bitterly she asks herself, "where is the wisdom I should have gained by now?" No answer comes to her. She can't help but ask the question..."If I had it to do over?"...Would she do better or would she still be chasing a dream? When did her judgement get so bad?

She sighs. She vows she will not let all the wrongs of her life overwhelm her. She does not want to become bitter. "I refuse to allow this to make me bitter," she says outloud. She has known many bitter people in her lifetime and knows she does not want to be one of them, for they have no joy. She believes, with God's help, she can gain the necessary strength to start over again at age 63. Starting over again, one last time. If God will only help me to forgive myself for my failures, then I can make it, she thinks. She's sure of it.

Let's think about my good points, she muses. After all, everything about me is not bad. I'm a good person, a caring person, and a kind person. Maybe if I can focus on those aspects of myself and my wonderful family, it won't be as hard as I think. Not to mention her cocker spaniel, Sasha, who has been with her for 6 years. Sasha's been there through thick and thin. And my writing, she thinks. I will continue to try to develop my writing. She knows that without being able to get this out on paper, she might just have gone off the deep end.

And so she pulls herself together, for the first time in days. She's ready now to face it all. She will be leaving Arizona and her husband of 3 years in about a month. There's lots to do between now and then. But once all the odds and ends are taken care of, I will step into my new life, with my head high and shoulders back, she thinks. Sasha and I will make a new beginning, back on the east coast, with family and friends. My loyal cocker spaniel and me.

She will regard this as a stretch of road she had to travel, but now this chapter is over. She hopes to fill the next with sunshine and smiles.

To find out more about this author and many others, please go to Helium.com

THE 5 MOST IMPORTANT REASONS FOR LOSING WEIGHT

1. Improve Your Health

It is a proven fact that overweight people suffer with many more health issues than people who are not overweight. You are at greater risk for heart attacks, strokes, and diabetes, just to name a few.

2. Increased Energy

Unfortunately, weight gain causes a decrease in energy. This is easily understood. Just try carrying around a 20 pound bag of potatoes with you all day as you go through your normal tasks. I guarantee you will be drained by the end of the day....if you make it that long. The decrease in energy is caused both by the physical weight and the emotional problems that go with being overweight.

3. Depression

Does it matter if the weight gain causes the depression or the depression causes the weight gain? Quite often the two go hand in hand, although, many people do not like to admit it. Low self-esteem plays a large part in depression, too.

4. Feel Better About Yourself

Are you really a better person if you lose weight? Of course not! However when you set goals for yourself, and follow through with attaining them, you feel better about yourself. This increases your motivation to keep going and accomplish what you have started.

5. Feeling Accepted by Society

Face It....Society judges overweight people. That is a fact, whether we like it or not. We may say we don’t care what people think about us but, in reality, most of us do. You’ve all seen the different talk shows that have dealt with this issue. The general public is not very accepting of overweight or obese people.For more information on how to accomplish weight loss goal "CLICK HERE"